Fifty Shades of Grey

Is “Mommy Porn” for you?

If you haven’t yet succumbed to the urge to pick up and read the overnight sensation known as Fifty Shades of Grey, here’s a little cheat sheet to help you figure out whether you might like it. First a little background: Fifty Shades of Grey is an erotic trilogy by E. L. James, about the relationship between Ana and her billionaire boyfriend Christian, an older man who initiates her into the world of BDSM. At the time of this writing, a copy was selling every three seconds!

1. Does your libido need a boost?

Take this to the bank: read 50 Shades of Grey and you’ll get turned on. Any woman (not just moms!) who’s ever needed a little erotic pick-me-up, will find it here. James doesn’t shy away from the explicit:

“This is for pleasure, Anastasia, mine and yours,” he whispers. He lifts his hand and brings it down in a resounding slap against the junction of my thighs, my behind, and my sex. The balls are forced forward inside me, and I’m lost in a quagmire of sensation. The stinging across my behind, the fullness of the balls inside me, and the fact that he’s holding me down.”

2. Do you enjoy romance novels, but find them a little “frustrating”?

Romance novels may have been coined “bodice-rippers” but they usually end abruptly once the ripping has begun. Now you can get your (beef)cake and eat it too!

“He starts small, biting licks of the crop against my belly once more. Moving down, soft small licks against my clitoris, once, twice, three times, again and again, until finally, that’s it—I can take no more—and I come, gloriously, loudly, sagging weakly.”

3. Have you fantasized about kinky sex, power play or BDSM?

Ana and Christian give you a playbook for bringing your fantasies to life, all set against the backdrop of a compelling love story. Women are flocking into the stores asking for the toys inspired by the book, so think of this as an invitation to let your imagination influence your sex play:

“At the touch of leather, I quiver and gasp. He walks around me again, trailing the crop around the middle of my body. On his second circuit, he suddenly flicks the crop, and it hits me underneath my behind…against my sex. I cry out in surprise as all my nerve endings stand to attention. I pull against the restraints. The shock runs through me, and it’s the sweetest, strangest, hedonistic feeling.”

4. Does your bag of tricks need a few more tricks?

Among the fun things Ana and Christian demonstrate for you:

•    Spanking, flogging, crops
•    Tying your lover up
•    Acting out dominant and submissive roles
•    Safe sex
•    Blow jobs

•    Luna Beads (aka evolved Ben Wa balls)

If you like to read and play, we’ve got two kits for you. Those who haven’t read the book yet should pick up the Fifty Shades of Grey Book and Bondage Kit, since you basically get the book for a buck when you buy the bonds. If you have read the book or know you’ll want to go all out in your kink explorations, we’ve got all the toys you need in the Fifty Shades of Grey Indulge Your Fantasies Kit, which includes restraints, a vibrator, kegel balls, a riding crop, and spanking powder.

5. Do you prioritize your turn on over the turn of phrase?

Then you’ll enjoy the euphemisms, the sexy language, the carnal descriptions, and you won’t mind that the writing won’t win any prizes.

6. Do you like to read fan fiction? Are you a fan of the Twilight series?

Believe it or not, 50 Shades of Grey started out as a serialized fan fiction, a genre in which writers eroticize well-known characters from popular culture. In this case, the author used Twilight as the story she was retelling, a trilogy already very popular with the moms of teenagers who’d read the young adult fiction.

7. Ready to play with the toys inspired by the Fifty Shades books?

We’ve put them all here, so enjoy shopping