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Q: Pregnant and Horny

Dear Rachel and Claire,

I am 34+ weeks pregnant and hornier than ever.  I love having sex with my boyfriend; however, anxiety about having a baby, fear of hurting me during sex and anti-depressants are keeping him from having an orgasm.  Because of my growing belly positions are limited.  I’ve suggested toys but he seems hesitant.  Do you have any suggestions?

Pregnant in Seattle


A:

Congrats on the high libido! Many pregnant women have told me that as they get closer to term, their partners lose interest in sex. In addition to the reasons you mention, some feel that the baby is already “present”, which is a turn-off, or are concerned that sex/orgasm might start pre-term labor.

Getting in some serious nookie before the little one comes to take all your extra energy is probably a good idea in theory, but if your boyfriend doesn’t want to, try masturbation. Skip the deep penetration (it’s a bad idea to bonk your cervix) and pay attention to how you feel.

When you orgasm you’ll notice your whole belly gets hard and round. That is the muscles contracting in orgasm like they usually do, but your uterus is just so much bigger. Think of it as an endorphin hug for the baby.

If the orgasmic contraction seems to last and last and you feel a sense of spaciness that persists for a few hours, postpone further orgasms until the babe is born, because those are signs of early labor. Unless of course you are past your due date and are looking to get things started.

Congrats on the pregnancy and check out the book Sexy Mamas, which has excellent advice for fanning the flames after junior arrives.